Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
