More tranny stories later!
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need to sanitize my soul.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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