just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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