Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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