Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
