Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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