You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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