Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
