He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
where am i from again
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Randomize
