I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
