please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
