When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's shark week go big or go home
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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