Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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