All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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