This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
