I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
