he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
