is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm getting married
To pizza
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
