Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
