will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
