Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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