Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
