Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize