I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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