Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
vagina is talking i cant
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
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