Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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