I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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