mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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