ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
