i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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