how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
