Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
