White coat. Heels.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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