GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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