i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
