i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just want nice things and good sex
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
