Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
