Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
