My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
