Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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