belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
one might say we're banned from that church
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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