So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
