Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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