so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
