if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
