Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
