So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
