i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Randomize
