did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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