I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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