Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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