Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
