My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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