somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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