this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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