Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
