chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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