so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
