That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
