I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
