How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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