my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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