Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
