You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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