She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
