So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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