Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
