I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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