so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Is Oprah even human
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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