im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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