I'm drive I can fine osifer
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Let's get the cat blown out
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
