shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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