I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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