I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
