Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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