If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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