remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
