Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
